


This Could Be...

by WritingsByCL



Category: K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, College, Dom/sub, Dom/sub Play, Dom/sub Undertones, Drinking, Drinking & Talking, F/M, Fat Shaming, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Light Dom/sub, Nerdiness, Originally Posted on Tumblr, Pet Names, Smut, Spanking, Swearing, Teasing, University, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-15
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-10-28 04:58:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17781017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WritingsByCL/pseuds/WritingsByCL
Summary: College equals partying and fun, right? Not always.Sometimes all you want is to read a good book and drink some ice cold beer midst all the chaos.Would that be asking too much?To your friends, yes. That's why they dragged you along to a party that you didn't even want to go in the first place.They don't get it. They're not like you. You're almost leaving when you find something positively surprising.You find a book in a balcony. As you take a look at it, its owner arrives and your jaw drops. Namjoon doesn't look like the kind of guy to enjoy reading as other people party.The moral of this story is that you can't judge a book by its cover. People shouldn't judge you for your body type. And you shouldn't think a boy isn't smart just because he's hot as hell."Where the soul connects, our bodies follow and emotions run wild." - WritingsByCL 💋





	This Could Be...

**Author's Note:**

> **Comments:** Please excuse my crazy thesis, it doesn’t hold any compromise to reality, any resemblance to any real post-grad thesis or to even make sense. | I like all the books that I mentioned there, and I either have read them or I am currently reading | Please read this with an open mind and try to put yourself in other people’s shoes. People who aren’t white or thin have to do it all the time, in many fanfics.
> 
>  **ATTENTION, PLEASE READ:** This is a fictional story. Any similarities to real people are unintentional. This story contains mature themes. By reading this story you agree that you are of age. The author does not authorize the reproduction, reposting, editing or any alteration of this material, fully or partially.  
>  **DISCLAIMER:** Please note that this story is NOT about non-fat people, even those with body dysmorphia. Everybody is welcome to read them, but these stories are ultimately about and for physically fat people, people who have been through actual prejudice and suffer from fat shaming/fatphobia.
> 
> • Suggested Soundtrack: RM - Something | RM and Jin - Trouble (as always, I use lyrics for inspiration).

A cold beer and a good book. Nothing better on a Friday night: an escape within literature and alcohol, a perfect fit. Or it would have been if at least you were at home enjoying what you liked most... However, your friends had other plans. You were shamelessly dragged down to a house party of god-knows-who.

Of course, they left you all alone over some dudes on the first thirty minutes, again. Except for Suzy, she was giggling with a red-head girl in a corner. And you were, as always, alone. No one goes for the fat chick at parties, right? You were seriously contemplating leaving when you came back from the bathroom, but something caught your attention. On a little table on the balcony, a lonely book.

It wasn’t open and no one was on that spot. You picked it, and it was a copy of Demian by Hermann Hesse. Geesh, you hadn’t read that book in ages. You let your fingers absentmindedly pass through the pages as you placed your beer bottle down. You smiled and wondered who in a place like this would be reading a Nobel Prize in Literature.

Until you heard footsteps and a handsome guy came in. Long legs, plump lips, a black hoodie, medium dyed blonde sexy hair pushed back showing a recent undercut and black nerdy glasses. And dark brown eyes like a pair of magnets. You blinked at him and he at you. He also had a beer in his hand and you’d never take him for the owner of the book. Guys like him were always with girls like your friends. But he kept staring, so you felt like you had to say something.

“I think someone forgot this here,” you said and gestured the book. He pointed at it. 

“It’s okay, I was just rereading it anyway,” he said, sitting down on one of the chairs by the round tiny wooden table. 

“Oh,” you said, putting the book down in front of him. He smiled and it did something to your insides. Something that usually ended in a one-sided crush by your part and never ever ended well. 

“You can look, I don’t mind,” he said, taking a sip from his beer.

“Actually, I’ve read it too,” you said and were about to give some random excuse to leave. But he seemed interested. 

“Really? Did you enjoy it?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you and gesturing a chair next to him, and you felt all silly. 

Why was this guy talking to you? But it was not like you had something better to do at that godforsaken party.

“Well, yeah. When I was a freshman, I mean” you said, taking a seat but hating the way your thighs did not fit entirely inside the tiny wooden square. You tried to put it out of your mind by drinking from your bottle. “What do you mean by that?” he asked, drinking too. You could swear he was smirking. Gosh, what was this? A fucking oral test about the book?

“Well...”, you put your beer down and scratched your nose, “I thought it was great when I was young and naive. Now I just think it’s good. I mean, Siddhartha is better. More complete, more mature” you said, not looking at him the entire time. When you finally did, he looked outraged, like you just cursed at his mother or something.

“What are you talking about? It's perfect! This book is my favorite!” he said with a fake scandalized tone. 

You shrugged and smiled. “It’s not a bad book” you clarified, “it’s just not his best work in my opinion,” you said, guiding the bottle back to your lips.

“What could be better than the yearning of the youth? The thirst for the unknown, the flirting with the darkness within us? The dilemma between righteousness and amorality?” he said, very serious. But you laughed, almost snorting beer out of your nose. 

“Did you just say ‘yearning of the youth’?” you asked between giggles.

He ended up laughing too, if it was out of embarrassment or at you, you weren’t very sure. “Seriously, it’s the best book in existence, why don’t you like it?” he asked when he stopped and took several sips of the bottle.

“I don’t dislike it, it’s just… When you get older, you realize we put too much weight on isolated experiences. When it’s the plenitude of things that matter. Besides, his Carl Jung influence made the book too centered into the aspects of the self, when I believe we have to look beyond ourselves to achieve true enlightenment, you know, look at the big picture” you said casually but you noticed he looked at you with attention. Had anyone ever looked at you like this? Besides your teachers, you meant.

“How old are you?” he asked out of the blue. 

“Hmmm I was born at the early 90’s” you answered.

“What? 90? 91?” he asked and you made the number one with your finger as you drank. “You’re only three years older than me, why do you sound like a postgrad student and not a simple college senior?” he asked, putting his elbows on the table. 

“Why do you look like a jock and not someone who reads Hermann Hesse?” you asked him back. He smirked. 

“Touché,” he said and offered you the bottle. You clinked your beer with his and you drank. 

“Because I am. A postgrad student, I mean. I didn’t go to college here, but I got a good scholarship with my thesis” you said after a few seconds of silence.

“Well, I’m not a jock” he smiled. Your eyebrows went up in surprise. “Music department,” he explained, a smile playing on his lips. “But I bet you’re in psychology, literature or philosophy,” he said with a smirk. 

You nodded, smiling shyly. “Postgrad and major in psychology, minor in anthropology,” you answered. 

“Sorry, what’s your name?” he asked and you gave him your name, asking for his in return. 

“Namjoon. I’m Kim Namjoon” he answered with a toothless smile that was one of the cutest things you've ever seen. You had to restrain yourself not to stare at him for too long.

After that it was a variety of topics between you two, from amenities of campus life to your personal thoughts about nihilism, the ephemerality, and bittersweetness of youth and the painful crudeness of the concept of time. The beer bottles accumulated as time went by. You never felt this at ease with a complete stranger but it was so easy to talk to him.

“Why are you here alone if this is your house too? Shouldn’t you be partying with them? Your friends?” you asked, gesturing the source of the music inside the living room and pushing the last bottle you could handle away from you. 

He tapped his bottle absentmindedly, looking away towards the sky as he thought a little before staring at your eyes and answering: “I like parties, but sometimes all I want is a good book and some cold beer” he said and you had the weirdest sense of empathy and understanding. You nodded and Namjoon knew you shared the same feeling.

But as all things good come to an end, Suzy wanted to get home asap with the red-haired chick and she was your ride. “Well, bye Namjoon. Thanks for the smart talk, it was fun” you said, standing up and waving him goodbye. Your heart soared when he stood up and hug you goodbye. You caught a scent of his perfume and the seed of one-sided crush was now sprouting. But you felt the exact moment it was stomped down when he saw Suzy and greeted her, hugging her too.

“Su-Ji! How have you been?” he asked, a hand on her shoulder as they made some small talk. There was no way in frozen hell that his hug was something more than friendship. You could feel your mood sinking. Gladly for you, Suzy was in a hurry to get home, so you left quickly after. Before that, you glanced over your shoulder, but Namjoon was talking to a guy and laughing, completely absorbed in something else to notice your gaze. So, that strange affinity was, much like your crush, one way only after all.

__________

Why on earth did he hug you? What the actual fuck was he doing? If Namjoon was honest enough with himself, he would be asking why he didn’t kiss you instead. Because that’s what he wanted to do, but he just hugged you. Namjoon looked at you leaving with Suzy and somewhere deep inside he wished he had gotten your number. Normally he would, with other girls he would have made much more progress by now. With some of them, he would already be at third base. But he wasn’t acting like himself with you. Strangely, with you he felt more like himself and at ease than with anyone else, that conversation you just had was inspiring, funny, brilliant. He could have kept talking to you forever, you had a great sense of humor and was so smart. And that was both exciting and scary. So he shook it off. Maybe because of his own unconscious prejudices against your body, maybe because of the old non-commitment issues, maybe because he was insecure, or a jerk, who knows? Not even him. But he lied to himself. “This is nothing at all, get a grip Namjoon,” he thought and laughed when his friend Hoseok told him a joke that wasn’t even that funny, removing his eyes from you.

__________

“I don’t understand why you didn’t ask him out. Waiting for a guy to ask you out is so old fashioned,” Suzy said as she picked one of your books and examined the cover. 

“You don’t even like guys, Su-Ji” you pinpointed, taking the book out of her hands. You had just bought a special edition of the ‘Harry Potter’ saga and an almost new set of ‘A Series of Unfortunate Events’ in an online auction, so you were rearranging your shelves. You loved books so much they were part of your thesis. You had them all over your room in the shared student house you lived in, who had both grad and postgrad students.

“That doesn’t mean I don’t know about flirting. You should have asked for his number, instead, you just bored him with your nerd talk. Some people in my class heard that he’s amazing in bed, it could do you good to do it well, you know” she said a sassy expression on her face. It could be true, she was in the same class as Namjoon.

You rolled your eyes. “I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t do it with a fat girl,” you said, unboxing your new treasures. Her face turned angry. 

“Why do you always put yourself down? It's his loss if he doesn't see you’re amazing, funny, beautiful, smart and sexy, just the way you are,” she said and crossed her arms. “Not for most guys, I’m not. And for him, I'm sure we're just acquaintances” you retorted. You had a sad feeling when you said that, but you knew it was true.

“You can ask him yourself,” Suzy said, suddenly changing her previous angry face to a mischievous one. But when you were going to ask her why the doorbell rang. She smiled and went to get the door and left you alone with your thoughts and your books. Finally! Some peace and quiet.

You stood up and examined the books written by Daniel Handler’s pen name, Lemony Snicket. Besides one scratch or two, they were practically new and you smiled fondly as you put them on their new shelf. They would make a good addition to your addiction and you were already thinking about how the narrative could fit in your academic work. You just had to convince your teacher.

“I don't know why, but this is exactly how I pictured your room,” a deep male voice said from your doorframe and you were so startled you dropped ‘The Hostile Hospital’, ‘The Carnivorous Carnival’ and ‘The Slippery Slope’ on the floor. You turned around to see the man himself standing at your bedroom door. 

“Hi… hi, Namjoon… what…?” was all you could manage to say to him, your heart beating fast.

He smiled. “Didn't Suzy tell you? We're doing an assignment together” he explained, showing you some white music sheet. 

“Oh… right... you're both studying music... well, good luck, then…” you gave him a quick smile and picked the books from the floor. But instead of leaving, he simply took three steps inside your room and stood exactly where Suzy was minutes ago. He also picked the same book she did.

“The Hunger Games?” He asked. “You dissed Damian but you read young adult fiction? And dystopian worlds, really?” He asked, sitting on your floor and opening the book over his face as you finished arranging this shelf. He pressed it against his forehead and shook his head in a clear attempt to mock your literary taste.

You sat across from him and started rearranging by authors’ names. “There's nothing wrong with it,” you said as he still had the book over his face, tilting his head as if he was curious. “There isn't!” you said, but couldn't help but giggle at him. He was so cute. You shook your head and got it together. “Look, you may not get it, but all of these books are written by adults for the young. In a way, if you analyze it deeply, this is a form of storytelling” you explained as you picked one that was separated from the others on your bed.

He put the book down and stared at you. “Aren't all books telling a story?” he asked, and you could tell he was genuinely interested. 

You smiled. “Yes, but children’s books and young adults are special. You know that there's a moral in children’s stories, right? Like in Aesop's Fables, they teach the children something, right? Or in cultures with no writing, the oral tradition passed knowledge and information to younger generations?” You asked and he nodded in agreement. He looked genuinely interested. You noticed he slightly changed his seat, placing his folder on his lap, ready to listen to your every word.

“Very well. But books for teenagers, or young adults, also have morals. But those morals are hidden inside the books. I’m interested in the messages written for young girls in books written for them” you said and he picked a copy of Twilight. 

“And what's the moral of this one?” He laughed and you smiled. “That is an awful book, I must admit, but I had to read that for research” you confessed. “I still don't get it” he shrugged, putting the book down. You opened the introduction of your favorite book and read to him a paragraph.

“Fairy tales, myths, and stories provide understandings which sharpen our sight so that we can pick out and pick up the path left by the wildish nature. The instruction found in story reassures us that the path has not run out, but still leads women deeper, and more deeply still, into their own knowing. The tracks we all are following are those of the wild and innate instinctual Self.” You read and smiled to a clearly confused Namjoon. “You see, Clarissa Pinkola Estés was right. Stories are paths, instructions, morals. My thesis is about the influence of top selling books in the collective and individual subconscious of young people, especially young teenage girls.”

You picked Twilight and showed him. “This piece of garbage is helping to shape the heads of hundreds of thousands of girls worldwide. And people insist that is just a story. But much like ‘Red Riding Hood’ taught kids through millennia that is not okay to disobey their parents, or that ‘Vasilisa The Beautiful’ teaches girls to trust themselves and their own strength, this one says it's okay to put yourself in danger because of some stupid teenage romance and curl into a ball if your boyfriend leaves” you said, letting the book go with a thump.

Namjoon looked at you and you could say that he was startled, to say the least. You always got too passionate when talking about your thesis. You cleared your throat, feeling a little awkward. "Words have power. Best selling authors for the youth have power in their hands, and I believe, much more meaningful power than celebrities or youtubers. Because these” you placed your palm over a pile of books, “these don't have 15 minutes of fame. These shape the subconscious because they're records of the collective memory and paths through generations. If this book” at this point you picked Twilight again, “if it says it's okay to be lethargic because a man left you, and people still buy it, my theory says it's because this sexist piece of information is engraved as a path to be followed by our ancestors in our collective memory. It's like common sense for our subconscious in a male-dominated society. And that's why we need books like this” you showed him your overused copy of ‘Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype’, the one you quoted to him.

You opened it again on a page with a post-it and read yet another quote for him: “Having a lover/friend who regards you as a living growing criatura, being, just as much as the tree from the ground, or a ficus in the house, or a rose garden out in the side yard... having a lover and friends who look at you as a true living breathing entity, one that is human but made of very fine and moist and magical things as well... a lover and friends who support the criatura in you... these are the people you are looking for. They will be the friends of your soul for life. Mindful choosing of friends and lovers, not to mention teachers, is critical to remaining conscious, remaining intuitive, remaining in charge of the fiery light that sees and knows.” You closed the book with a thud. You wished this book was given to every little girl as they were born, it had helped you more than anything.

“This is better than the moral in Twilight, in my opinion.” You shrugged, standing up and restarting your task. You heard footsteps and soon you could feel his big frame behind you. 

“You’re amazing” Namjoon whispered and you pretend you didn't hear, but it sent goosebumps through your body. "I mean... That's amazing. Your... thesis," he said, slightly vexed. He also pretended nothing happened, because right after he asked if you wanted help, clearing his throat.

You were about to decline, but when you saw he reached the top shelf easily, you decided to accept. “Thank you. And I'm sorry, I get carried away sometimes. But don't you have an assignment to do, though?” You asked as you separated some books for donation. Your brain processed the sound of the rain starting to pour outside, but that didn't seem important at the moment. 

“Hm? You're welcome. Oh, yeah, we do have an assignment but Suzy said she had something urgent and would come back in an hour, so... I saw your door open, and decided to say hi” he explained, picking the books and arranging them by the author’s names without you saying anything. That's one of the things that you liked more about him the other day, his ability to catch up quickly. What could you say? Intelligence is aphrodisiac.

“Of course she did,” you said under your breath. You worked together in silence and you seemed choreographed: you passed him a book and he would find its place effortlessly on higher shelves. He seemed to know the one you'd be picking next to place on the lower ones and gave it to you. In no time you were finished and only a pile of books to give away remained and another that you were currently reading.

Reading several books was normal to you, you'd take turns. Start one, stop. Continue another, stop. Get back to the first, then add the third one. Your brain was all over the place. Namjoon examined this pile of your current readings, his long fingers touching the issues fondly, his toothless smile on his face. He picked one and his smile widened, teeth and all. “I thought this book wasn't ‘complete’ enough” he teased, picking your copy of Demian.

You felt your heart race a bit when he came to you with the book that ‘introduced’ you two in the first place. He was unbelievably close and his scent came into your nostrils. You opened your mouth, trying to form the right sentence. You just couldn't blurt out that the book reminded you the other night and you couldn't put it down because you were thinking about him nonstop. Instead, you just said: “I… I’m researching, you know. Inspired by a guy at a party. ‘Yearning of the youth’ and such…” you said, quoting him. It wasn't a complete lie, Jung was a key influence on your work, and Hesse was a known Jung fanboy. That should count as research. Right?

__________

And there was Namjoon again. When you said that, all he could think was his own growing and intense ‘yearning’ for your lips. His mind revived the last conversation you had and it was the most inspiring thing he had experienced since he set foot on campus. He caught himself thinking about it for the past days but there were many things holding him back. But this… this could be something. Naturally, he had to do something about it, and fast. Fight or flee? His mind was saying no, but his... Heart? Somewhere inside him screamed yes, that you two had the strongest connection he had ever felt. His heart… No, his soul screamed, so his body simply followed. He let his emotions run wild until they decided that this was something.

__________

You stared at him and a thousand thoughts seemed to go through his head. He was that kind of guy, his look gave away that his mind worked nonstop. But then his smile faded and you couldn't read his expression. It was something utterly new but then he closed the space between your bodies and you instinctively knew. His eyes scanned your face until they focused on your lips. A quick glare back to your eyes asked silently for permission, pulling you in. The faintest nod from you and he smashed his lips into yours.

You heard the sound of the book dropping heavily on the floor and you felt his hand grab you by your neck. You let yourself drown within the moment and the kiss was deepened, Namjoon and you pressing your bodies against each other with a thirst that was beyond physical.

Time seemed to stop and all that mattered was his tongue on yours, the gentle motions of his lips, the way his hands caressed your body. Your heart was swallowed by this genuine feeling of happiness, something real that ignited within yourself that it was almost unbelievable. But you also had a spot of doubt, an irrational fear that insisted on being stuck to your brain.

You gently pulled away from him. "Humm... This is great and all, but... don't you have that assignment to do?" you asked, tucking your hair behind your ear, suddenly a little shy. The truth was that you were scared. Maybe he got crazy for a second and you had to get back to reality.

"Yeah," he raised an eyebrow in surprise, "but does that matter right now?" he inquired, smiling and pulling you back into his embrace. 

You felt completely warm in his arms but still, you couldn't believe this was happening. "It's just...", you said, "everything is happening so fast and I don't wanna get in your way and all..." You stuttered a little. At that moment, his phone rang.

"You should get that," you said, motioning to pull away. He agreed and checked his phone. It was a text message from Suzy. She said she got stuck at the house of the girl she met last night because of the rain and asked him to do their work another time. Namjoon showed you his phone and looked outside, noticing for the first time that it was raining. When you finished reading, you walked to your window and pulled the curtains that were half-open.

The world seemed to be ending in water! Namjoon joined you and together you watched a garbage bag being carried away by the stream that had formed on your street. You looked at each other, a weird bad and good sensation forming in your chest. Bad because of the horrible weather outside but good because you were completely alone with Namjoon at your house. The rest of your roommates were enjoying their Sunday so only you two remained. 

"What are we gonna do?" you asked, more to yourself. Namjoon walked away from the window and checked his phone again, tapping the screen occasionally as you watched the rain. 

After a few moments he broke the silence. "Looks like a storm is coming. There's no much we can do now." You sighed and turned to face him.

"What do you wanna do?" you asked. He put his phone on his pocket walked towards you and held your hands.

"We're going to make a huge sacrifice," he said ironically, a playful smile on his lips, "and spend some time together alone" and he kissed your forehead. You felt your body warm up and couldn't help but smile. You looked at him.

"Wanna grab something to drink and talk about books?" you asked, your voice sensual as if you were proposing something indecent.

"Woah, when you say it like that, no man can resist" he answered, pulling you for another kiss. You gave in to the kiss and felt genuinely happy.

__________

Namjoon was perfect. You spent the end of the afternoon talking, drinking tea, getting to know each other and even watched a movie together. You felt you could just be yourself with him and Namjoon never had this much fun with a girl before. From time to time he would just look at you or kiss your cheek. You were a little fearful that this might end up being a dream because you never thought you could feel so at ease. But night approached and the storm was far from done, so you had to face the fact that he had to sleep in.

"Oh my god, you look so cute in that hello kitty shirt," you couldn't help but laugh when he got out of the bathroom after a shower, wearing your borrowed clothes. Yes, being fat had its perks sometimes.

You had already showered and had prepared an improvised bed for him on the floor and were now sitting on your own bed. "Ha ha ha, very funny," he said, throwing you the towel he used for dry his hair. You caught it, putting it away but you still giggled. He sat beside you and started tickling you in retaliation.

Your body contorted with the sensation and you ended up falling on your back, but that didn't stop him.

That moment of movies you never thought you experienced, happened: your crush was above you, tickling you, your bodies intertwined in the play-fight motions until you both realized how close you were. Namjoon's eyes softened and he lowered his head, gently kissing you as if testing the waters. When he realized you kissed him back he relaxed, moving until your bodies fitted and your kiss deepened.

Namjoon pulled away from you desperate for air in his lungs. “Fuck,” he said quietly, touching your forehead with his. You smiled, his weight on you being the sweetest sensation you've ever felt. You realized how much you wanted him, to the point of not caring how long you knew each other; no experience you ever had was this deep and joyful. “That can be arranged,” you said quietly, a sly smile on your lips. His eyebrows were slightly up as he kissed you again, toying with the hem of your shirt. “You want it? Are you sure? How bad do you want it?” He asked as he kissed your neck and slid his hands through your body, leaving a trail of goosebumps wherever they touched.

“Bad enough...” you pulled away and answered, passing your hands under his borrowed hello kitty shirt and touching his warm skin. You reached his belly and you felt his abs. They weren't super defined, but they were definitely there. You raised an eyebrow at him. “Are you sure you aren't a jock?” You giggled, but he grabbed your wrists, not falling for it, pinning you on the bed. You gasped. He wasn't in for playing games anymore. “We both know you're smart, Y/N, so don't play dumb with me” he warned low voice, one hand now on your waist and pulling you even closer to him. His free hand gently cupped your face.

"I'm older than you, you know? Show some respect," you answer defiantly, motioning for him to let you go, but he didn't flinch. "When everyone is over 18, age is just a number," he answered. "I can stay like this the whole night, Y/N, but I will stop if you say no," he stated. You looked at him and saw all the fire in his eyes. He was right. Dragging this wouldn't prove anything so you decided to just be honest. You placed your bet.

“I want you, Namjoon” you whispered and he smiled. Not a toothless smile. Not a grin with all his pearly whites showing. A soft smile, a sincere one, with eyes darkened by lust. He spoke your name, gently propping your face up and kissing your lips with the most care in the world. “I want you too…” he said and you felt like flying. “And if you want me to stop, just say ‘Demian’, ok?” he said, hugging you and making you giggle. Oh, so that's how he wanted to play. Okay, you could get along with this.

And then all the softness was gone. He let your wrists go and his fingers twisted in your hair, making you directly into his eyes. “Now tell me. How bad do you want me, Y/N?” he asked, earning a raspy moan from you. "I... I..." you stuttered. Wow, he changed gears in less than a second so he caught you by surprise. But the thing that shocked you the most was that you were definitely enjoying this more than you thought. You could feel your body drowning in your desire for him. “I want you so bad, Namjoon, I’d do anything,” you said but he simply tightened his grip, making you moan again. “What will you do?” he said, a languid expression on his face, his parted thick lips provocative. “Anything” you answered. If that's how it's going down, better do it properly.

“Then slowly take off your clothes, get us a condom and get on your knees,” Namjoon said against your ear, nibbling at it. You felt adrenaline rush through your body but you didn't take long to stand up and do as he said. As soon as you locked the door and fumbled in your drawer for a condom, leaving it on your desk, you faced the crude reality that you needed to be naked. In front of him. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You hesitated, your fingers fumbling with the fabrics that covered you.

Namjoon was now on his feet in the middle of your bedroom, looking at you with interest. “You’re soon to find out that I’m not very patient, Y/N,” he said, and he slightly licked his plump lips, arms crossed over his chest. You opened your mouth but he didn’t let you even begin to say. “You know, you put too much weight on isolated experiences. When it’s the plenitude of things that matter,” he smirked, throwing your own words back at you. Damn it, you couldn’t argue with your own logic, he was too smart. Touché. You were going to beg for some decency, but he didn’t let you, once again he cut you, not letting you finish. “No, I won’t look away. Eyes on me, clothes on the floor” he bossed you around. And the worst part is that you loved it. Namjoon was younger than you, but it didn't interfere with whatever he was doing. You fought with yourself a bit until you just stopped thinking. You swallowed dry.

And so you did what he said. Shirt off. He bit his lips. You were trembling but still you kept going. He gestured your shorts. He caressed his own neck and you caught the movement of his flexed arms. Why was that simple gesture was so hot? He circled you, like a predator and you couldn’t see him. But when you unclasped your bra, a soft ‘hmmm’ escaped his lips, giving you the encouragement to give the final step. You bent your knees, ass slightly up and removed your panties. Silence. You didn’t dare to look around and the seconds passed heavily until you felt two slaps on your ass, one on each butt cheek. You were surprised and gasped when he did it but did not dare to move, closing your eyes to the contact.

“That was for taking too long to give me what I wanted” Namjoon said behind you and you could feel your heart beating heavy under your chest. “Now, princess... kneel,” he said against your ear and so you did. He stood up in front of you and ordered you to remove his shorts. You obeyed. “You’re a smart ass that talks too much and says big words. Now use that pretty mouth to show me how much you want me” he said, stroking your cheek and awakening something inside you. Something that was at his mercy and enjoyed being bossed around. The contrast of his dirty commands and the sweetness of the gesture was deliciously provocative. And you wanted more.

After fumbling with the fabric and his underwear, you held him in your hand, pumping the half hard member firmly a couple of times. You licked your lips for moist, then wasted no time in taking him whole in your mouth, slowly. You bobbed your head, savoring him as he slid in and out of your mouth. 

A low groan from him and you moved on, now sucking the head and pumping the shaft with your hand rhythmically. He moaned. Loud. The pleasure sounds he made while you blew him turned you on even more. On the balcony, a few days ago, he tested your knowledge and you felt like he was applying an oral test on the book. That was a pleasant twist of events, you thought to yourself.

Another moan and an unexpected hip thrust, and you froze a little. “Don't stop... you're doing so good, princess,” he said, coaxing you with the tip of his fingers grazing on your chubby cheek once again. This time you let him slide inside you all the way in, your nose rubbing on his toned skin, your chin grazing on his balls. You did your best in relaxing your throat and jaw and flattening your tongue under him. Now his fingers desperately grabbed your messy hair, but not with too much force, and he guided himself in your mouth as he fucked your mouth.

One hand of yours held onto his long leg for support. Your free one was dipped between your thighs, not doing anything, just an unconscious gesture that evidenced your neglected pleasure. It didn’t go unnoticed to Namjoon, though. He looked down and thought that this was such a beautiful sight. He removed himself from your mouth with a final grunt and guided you to the bed.

He instructed you to lay down facing down the mattress and not take a peep. After some time you heard him taking off his shirt and you felt the bed move. You could feel a weight on the back of your knees. Namjoon was perched on your legs and you had no idea what he was doing until he slapped your ass again. It was a little painful, but it did not hurt, instead, it sent a jolt of electric joy throughout your whole body.

“Lift that nice ass up for me a little,” he said and you had to do your best with his weight fully on you. He started massaging and squeezing your ass and you felt yourself relaxing under his touch. He surprised you when he started alternating his caresses with hard slaps on your butt, in different places every time. It was infuriating, maddening, languid, and delicious the way he worked you up, your slickness accumulating on your slit. You never knew pleasure and pain could be so intimately linked together. You were moaning and whimpering for every second of it, but he was only satisfied when you heard his name escape your lips sensually.

“Yeah?” his low voice dripped desire and you felt him make round patterns on your ass with his fingers. “Please, Namjoon…” you started saying, but he approached his thumbs to your slit and used them to open it, shutting you up. His fingers rubbed your slit but he didn’t push them inside or traveled to your bundled nerve, driving you wild. “Please what, princess? Huh?” he asked, leaning against you, his body over yours and his hard dick placed perfectly between your ass cheeks.

He kissed and marked your neck, his fingers reaching yours, entwining and closing together. His cock was teasingly embedded on your slit and you buckled your hips and grinded into him, desperate for friction, any kind of release. Besides being impatient, Namjoon was a tease. “Please do something, Namjoon, please… Anything” you said between sobs.

“Yes? That could be arranged, but… What do you want, Y/N? Just tell me...” he whispered in your ear, abusing it with his teeth and tongue. “Just fuck me, Namjoon, goddamnit!” you screamed in desperation. It was a good thing the house was empty at the moment. He sat down again and you almost got your wish, but instead, he slapped your thighs, one at a time.

“No, no... I don’t want to teach you a lesson on your first day, Y/N. Don’t curse anymore. And say you’re sorry” he said with an annoyed tone. You practically begged for forgiveness, every drop of pride vanishing away when your arousal took over. You weren’t lying before, you’d do anything.

“I’m afraid that I’m ready but you’re not, baby girl. Show me what you’ve got” he said as he lifted himself off you. You stayed down, but he urged you to lift your ass in the air, knees on the mattress and open your legs for him. You took a deep breath, waiting for whatever it was that he had in his mind for you and you wailed when he teased your entrance with his finger. The gushing sound was arousing for both of you, your essence coating his fingers and your whimpers would be heard from downstairs if another soul was there. His other hand worked your clit and he did that to you for as long as he deemed necessary for you to be wet and on edge enough for him.

When he hit the spot inside you, you cried out, ready to embrace your release. However, your probation wasn’t over. It was almost as if he was testing your resistance and patience because when he removed his fingers from your slit you had to get it together in order not to punch his face in frustration. You turned around, angry, and the laughed at you with his fingers on his mouth, feasting on your taste. He looked at you coyly as he carefully licked his fingers clean, occasionally moaning about how good you tasted.

The jerk even sneered, that cocky expression plastered on his face. “Don’t give me that look, princess” he teased and grabbed your ass on the most luscious part hard, squeezing it, and you turned your face up front again, burying it in your pillows. A familiar noise of unwrapping and a quick glance towards him indicated he was putting on the condom and you exhaled in relief.

Both his hands pulled you by your hips to him, and when he filled you up it was like your bodies belonged together. His name escaped your lips and he filled you up with gentle movements of his hips. As usual, his gentleness was short-lived, because soon after, he was pounding inside you with a strong and fast, yet steady, pace.

With every advance, you were aware of the creaking of the bed, the bouncing of your body against his, the smell of sex, the noises you made together, the touch of his hands gripping your thigh and your thick squishy body, the fulfillment and the tightness on your lower stomach.

That tight knot in your core was unbearable, the sturdy feeling accumulating in every bit of yourself, threatening to wash you over was closer than ever. And without warning, you came around Namjoon, hard and overwhelmingly. The spasms of your ringed muscles were too much for him, who soon followed you into the sweet frenzy with erratic and sharp thrusts and a low growl from deep within his throat.

The ephemeral haziness that follows such intense occurrences can be a moment that is succeeded by awkward regret, courteous indifference or the amazing realization that whatever happened was great. Luckily, as you turned on your side to give Namjoon some space to plop on the bed, it only took you one glance into each other’s eyes to understand that this was the third case.

His fingers reached for your face and you closed your eyes with the contact. His voice was groggy, heavy and perfectly sexy. “Today I went easy on you, princess,” he said. Your new pet name sent shivers down your spine. “Really?” you asked, and gently opened your eyes to be welcomed by his dark pools.

“Yeah,” he said, fixing a curly strand of your hair. “Next time you take too long or talk too much, you will be in trouble” he promised with a smoldering expression, his fingers under your ear and his thumb circling your cheek. “What kind of trouble?” you asked, batting your eyes.

“Oh…” he said, pulling you towards his chest, where it was warm, inviting and simple. “I can’t even put it down in words,” he said with a chuckle. “Words do not express thoughts very well…” you started quoting his favorite author, Hesse. He smiled and continued, holding you against him: “They always become a little different immediately after they are expressed, a little distorted, a little foolish.”

“Are you alright?” Namjoon asked you, the beat of the song faint from the bench you were seated in the backyard. Another party, another conversation in a less crowded place and new beer bottles. “Yeah” you answered, smiling at Namjoon. You weren't fine. You didn't know what would happen now, where yesterday left you. It was a while that you didn't do this. Whatever it was. Maybe it was nothing at all.

“Well, that's one of us,” he said, taking a sip from his beer. “What? Why?” You asked, turning to him. He leaned against you, winking, the corner of his lip turning up in a smirk that made your blood run faster in your veins. “Because you didn't kiss me today…” he said softly, looking at you with hooded eyes. You felt shy and bit your lip. That moment you froze because you heard someone giggling behind you and calling you names. Namjoon looked over your shoulder with an angry face and you could swear it would be the end of everything.

“Kiss me,” Namjoon said with a stern expression and he saw you hesitated. He whispered to you, his best commanding voice: “Kiss me like you did yesterday when I fucked your pussy hard and you came around my cock, Y/N” he said and it wasn't a request. You grabbed his shirt and pulled him to you, kissing him long and smoothly, your legs pressing together with his words.

The giggles stopped. He felt something for you and he was not afraid to show it. And right then and there something started, yet to be named, without a need to be branded at this moment. You kissed and passion was tactile. Your souls connected at that party on the balcony. Yesterday, your bodies followed, entangled in pure ecstasy that was better than just sex because your minds were in symbiosis. And now the emotions were free to run wild, ready to take you to a pristine path of discoveries. And that was definitely something special.


End file.
